Dear Diary,
It's been a week since I've given birth to my beautiful son. It's quite lonely in this hospital I got a few visitors when he was born but barely anyone comes in to see me!, maybe there probably waiting for me to return home. I have been through quite a lot and I'm exhausted I really don't even know how I'm going to manage looking after my baby I have no experience when it comes to children. Stanley ain't a great help either, I've been more worried about how I'm going to provide for my son, I still haven't thought of a name for him yet. Maybe Stanley may help me choose the name but that's wishful thinking, I'm so scared to return home the amount of burden that's going to be placed upon me is to much to handle especially when Stanley's in one of his arrogant and grouchy moods. I haven't got the patience to tolerate him anymore especially when I have our child to look after and take care of. Maybe things between us might change since we've just had a baby together this could be the making of us really, I really need to stop thinking negative all the time and be more positive. I know deep down Stanley loves me dearly even though he has a funny way of showing it, he ain't the type of guy to express how he feels .
you showed a good sense of form/genre and got into Stella's mood you also created a convincing sense of stella's voice. you also showed a good attempt at showing that you had read the book and had knowledge of the text. overall you had good creative ideas however you could have expanded it :)
ReplyDeleteWWW- You were able to clearly understand the way that Stanley shows his feelings. The way that the the diary was put together, with Stella highlighting her thoughts is clear and presents her feelings in an appropriate way.
ReplyDeleteEBI- Could be longer. Also the relationship with her Stanley may have been interpreted in a different way. It is clear that Stella loves Stanley very much and may not have responded in this way.
www good sense of time and place, Stella's concerns are shown and there seems to be some understanding of the fears she has about Stanley
ReplyDeleteebi the specific use of language needs to draw more closely on that which you have read in the text. Also might be a good idea to make more direct reference to the scenes which precede the writing task and explore the emotions which come out of this.